


15x18 Coda

by beefcakemish



Series: Misc. Drabbles [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Temporary Character Death, M/M, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beefcakemish/pseuds/beefcakemish
Summary: In which, the warding holds just a few moments longer.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Misc. Drabbles [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1203301
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	15x18 Coda

“I love you.”

Dean shakes his head in disbelief.

“No. Not like this, Cas. Not now.”

Cas smiles softly at him, raising his bloodied hand from Dean’s shoulder to his cheek, wiping away a single tear.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I needed you to know.”

Dean chokes back a sob and turns his head into Cas’ palm, placing a kiss over the healing wound. He turns back to Cas, fingers clutching to the fabric of his trench coat as the door rattles behind them again.

“I knew, Cas. Of course, I knew. Jesus, how could I not know after everything we’ve been through?”

Cas pulls back as much as Deans tight grip allows; confusion clear on his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Cas.”

The tears are flowing freely down Dean’s face now, his breath shallow and shaky. 

“I’ve been trying – I’ve been trying so hard. Then something comes up and everything else has to take a back seat, ya know?”

Dean flinches as the door bangs again, and Cas steps closer into his grip, smoothing the skin under his thumb.

“It’s okay, Dean. I’ve accepted this was never a life I could have. In another lifetime, things may have been different, but in that lifetime, we wouldn’t be the same. I would never change the bond we have in this life, Dean, or who we are.”

Cas makes the last step forward, closing the distance between them. Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ middle, hands holding tight to Cas’ shoulders.

Billie bangs on the door once again, and Cas knows it’s time to make their move. He carefully pulls himself from Dean, resting a hand on either side of his face.

“Look after Sam and Jack as they will undoubtedly look after you. I love you, Dean. Please never forget that you are worthy of love, and everything else that life has to offer you.”

The door shatters behind them, and Cas can see the Empty’s essence creeping towards them. He places a fleeting kiss to the tear-soaked corner of Dean’s mouth before pushing him out of the path between Billie and the Empty.

“I promise I’ll get you back, Cas. If it’s the last thing I do. I promise.”

Cas smiles again, slowly being absorbed by the black matter and fading into nothing.

“I love you, Cas.” is the last thing he hears before the silence comes and he’s alone.

* * *

"Goodbye, Dean."

Dean wakes, gasping for breath, covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

"Cas?"

He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, glancing at the empty space on the bed next to him.

The same dream. No. Less dream, more nightmare. The same one as the last few months.

Dean wipes the sweat away from his face with the hem of his t-shirt and falls back onto the bed beneath him. His breathing slows again the longer he stares at the dark of the ceiling.

His eyes are drawn again to the cold space next to him. The sheets are ruffled, almost like someone had once filled them. He blinks back the tears and turns towards the emptiness, reaching out to smooth the sheet back.

The bedroom door clicks open behind him, and the light from the hallway filters into the room. It illuminates the wall Dean faces; the photos on the wall becoming more defined as his eyes adjust. The photos of two men wrapped around each other, laughing, hugging, kissing.

"Dean?"

Dean turns towards the voice, his body losing all tension at the sound. He sighs in relief as the voice moves closer, speaking soft and low.

"Thought you were gone again."

Cas shakes his head, pushing back Dean's sweat soaked hair from his forehead before leaning over to kiss him tenderly.

"No. I'm here, Dean. I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
